Feedback would be helpfull

[r nickell]

I have been asked to do an artical about rescue dogs and wanted to post the rough draft. I would like some feed back cause even though I promote rescue dogs for hunting I do not want people thinking it is the cheap and easy was to get a dog. Sorry for the lenght of this but any comments are welcome. Thanks for taking your time.
Russ

In Oct of 2008 I decided to go to one of the local bird farms and chase some quail not having hunted them since the late 80's. Walking with the guide and watching his young pointer work, memories of weekends spent hunting with friends and family came flooding back to me. When I got back home the idea of getting back into upland bird hunting would not go away and I knew I had again been bitten by the bug. I set down at my computer and started searching for a dog not having the slightest idea of where to start the search. After checking out several webpages for breeders in the area and seeing the price of started and finished dogs and even new puppies my enthusiasm started quickly to fade. I am not sure how I came across the idea of a rescue dog during that search but I ended up looking at a website that listed rescue dogs by breed and distance from my zip code. Putting in the various breeds and looking at the photo's I suddenly came across one of a German Shorthair Pointer with the name of Orivus that was located at a shelter in the Parkville area. Everyone's best guess put his age at about 18 months. So loading up my old Lab/Chow mix Bear that I had adopted years ago after he flunked out of the puppies in prison program I headed off to Parkville to meet what could be my new hunting partner. I learned he had been found wondering along the missouri river starving and scared. no collar or microchip to lead back to his owners. Tall and proud with a shorthairs intelligent eyes Orivus was the picture of a German Shorthair Pointer and after spending a few mins. with him I decided I had found my new hunting partner. So loading up Bear and finally getting him to let Orivus in the car I headed home with my new bird dog. Little did I know the long journey that lay ahead to make this Shorthair a true hunter.
Not liking the name Orivus my first task was to find a new name for him. As fate would have it that very afternoon while standing in line at Petco with him, two ladies behind me decided he looked like a Murphy the name stuck. I should have seen it coming the new name foretold the tale. Murphy's law was about to come into play. Spending the next week with Murphy I discovered many things. First he seemed shy and skittish by nature. He appeared to have been house broken but had no idea how to climb up or down a set of stairs. Lacking any social skills he seemed very unsure how to act in almost every situation. But due to his calm nature he was always well behaved. After a couple weeks of the two of us spending time together and letting him get settled in his new house. I felt the big moment had come. I took Murphy out and see what he could do on quail. Saturday morning arrived and my son and his stepfather and myself unloaded Murphy and started walking into the field at the bird farm. Murphy was beautiful as he started to work the field circling first the tree line surrounding it in his long graceful strides he then returned to me and start working the area in front of us as we walked. Soon I saw him lock up on point standing like a statue waiting for us to catch up. The flushing quail took off with Murphy following behind. Jim my sons step dad had the shot, pointing the gun and firing the quail falling. Murphy hearing the shot stopped instantly tucking his tail between his legs came running back to me shaking like a leaf his hunting done for the day. Standing next to me looking up I could see the fear the sound of the shot had caused in his eyes. I knew instantly the long road that lay ahead and how ill prepared, I was to go down it. So with that shoot began the next stage of my adventure with Murphy.
Setting back at my computer again I started reading up on how to cure a gun shy dog it did not take me long to realize I did not have the knowledge to fix this problem myself. The next few months were spent with me trying to get a better understand of Murphy and what I could do to make him the hunting partner I truly believed he could be. Step one was I thought he needed to get some confidence in himself along with exercise to keep him in shape. So began our trips to the local dog park where he could run and interact with other dogs not always being at the bottom of the pack order. At first he would hide behind me unsure it seemed to know how to interact with the other dogs becoming instantly submissive if one approached. Slowly over time that started to change though never aggressive he began not to cower but instead play with the other dogs, his confidence creeping up ever so slowly with each trip. As summer approached I decided it was time to find a trainer to work with him on the gun shy problem since I felt he was starting to gain enough confidence to overcome that challenge. The first couple I contacted after assessing Murphy told me the same thing several of my friends had said. Take him home and make him a pet cause he will never be a hunter. But something told me they were wrong that somewhere inside this dog was the heart of a hunter. Finally a friend gave me the name of a trainer that he had used for his dog. I called Jon setting up an appointment for him to take a look at Murphy. Jon told me he would take Murphy and see what he could do. Even though when I think about it he did not sound hopefully. So Murphy went off for 8 weeks of bird dog school with me going down every couple of weeks to check out his progress. Slowly he started to learn the skills he needed. With each trip I saw a little more of the hunting dog I wanted him to be emerging. After the 8 weeks I brought him home with more training scheduled for late summer and early fall to hopefully get him ready for hunting season. After his second stay with Jon this time for 4 weeks and as the weather turned cooler I prepared to hunt Murphy for his first season even though at this point he was around 2 1/2 yrs old. That season was rough with days when he hunted, and days when he showed little or no interest in birds, days when the sound of the gun left him nervous and or shaking again with fear. But I never lost faith in him. I saw his moments of brilliance in the field. Towards the end of the season they started to come more frequently. Slowly I began to know for sure he could become the hunting dog I always believed he would be. So as the winter ended and the bird farms closed Murphy and I put up the gun and again spent evening at the dog park where he never failed to impress people with the grace of his running.
Sometime during that winter a friend had commented to me that he and his brother were in search of a dog to replace their old one who had passed away, asking if I ever saw a rescue that looked good to call him. Looking on the internet every now and then I searched for them a dog. In late July I came across one I thought might be what he was looking for so I called the shelter and got more information one her. Listed as a German Wirehaired Pointer she had been found stray outside of a small town in Ne. and turned into the shelter like Murphy with no id or microchip to help them find her owner. I called my friend and he informed me they had just bought a puppy a couple of weeks before and he apologized for not telling me, thinking I had forgotten his request and not been looking. Something about this dog hunted me and I could not put her out of my mind so finally I called the shelter and set up a time to go see her. Filling out an adoption application online, they called me the next day to tell me I was approved for adoption and they would see me that next Saturday. Early Saturday morning a friend of mine and I loaded up Murphy and took off for the 3 hour drive to go look at this dog that had so interested me. I was really not sure what to expect but what I saw bouncing towards me when they brought this young supposed German Wirehaired Pointer towards me was not it. She had a coat that looked like it was styled by a blender. Crooked front teeth. And a look in her eye that spoke of both intelligence and mischief is equal amounts. After Murphy I thought about if I ever got a second dog what will I look for. In my mind making a list of things to judge my next bird dog on. Then looking at Gretal I laughed and forgot that list completely and knew instantly that I had found my next dog and Murphy's new hunting buddy. The head of the shelter told me that a couple of other people had looked at her and decided that since they could not be sure she was a pure bred Wirehair she was to risky to adopt as a hunting dog. Walking her around the block something told me that they had been wrong in their assessment of her. With her nose to the ground she dragged me around the block as if she was the embodiment of prey drive on 4 legs. Perhaps the warning flags should have gone up but instead I just followed her impressed by the power and focus of this young dog. Up on arriving home and a couple of tense moments when Bear found out he had a new roommate I let Gretal out in the back yard. In a moment I found out how she possibly had become a stray for in the time it takes to type this she found a hole in the fence just big enough for her to wiggle through and was off. After chasing her down the block and finally got a leash on her managed to get her back to the house and was off to the hardware store to get something to patch the fence. An hour later the fence patched I let her out again watching her run strait to were she got out the first time and when seeing the hole no longer there she simply jumped the fence and the chase was on again. After finally for the second time that day getting her back into the house I had just time enough to get to the store for a stake and yard chain so I could stop sprinting around the neighborhood after her. Dropping the l from her name my new furry kid Greta settled into the house and then promptly turned mine and the other two dogs life toppsy turby. Keeping up with her was a challenge as was socializing her with other dogs. She still had alot of puppy in her and at times pushed me to my limits. As she settled in I started to find out more about her. She whoa'd on command and was a wonderful little reriever on both land and water so it looked as though she had some trianing. So I called Jon and set up a time to run them down so he could work with her and Murphy for a couple of weeks in late Sept. To get Murphy ready for fall hunting and to see what it would take to do the same with Greta. Two weeks later when I went to pick them up he told me the bad news. He told me he thought she had the makings of a excellent hunting dog if anyone could control her in the field and to him that was a big if. Loading them up and driving home I was wondering how I was going to try and solve this problem. I use a ecollar with Murphy although very seldom did I ever need it and then I could simply hit the tone button and he would recall to me. I figured time to try and train Greta to one also, seeing if she could be controled with it. Charging it up after setting all summer in the closet. I put it on Greta and suddenly the whole world changed, instead of the Tazminan devil setting before me was a well behaved little girl waiting for my next command. All I could do was shake my head and laugh seems along with yard training someone had also ecollar trained her. And so buying a second collar the furry kids and I start our adventures of chasing quail for this year.
I decided this year what the dogs needed more then anything was to hunt birds as much as possible so starting the first week of Oct. that is what we did. Going to bird farms untill quail season open. Then hunting a combination of wild and preserve birds till season closed then back to the bird farms. Murphy started out the season just were he left off last year sometimes hunting like an old pro and other times stopping and looking at me or following me around as if unsure or confused as to what to do. This season I felt was make or break time for him. He would either prove those that said make him a pet right, or show me the Murphy I always believed was there just waiting to be unlocked. I will never know what it was. Did finally all the pieces just click into place for him, or perhaps it was because of rivialry with Greta. On the 4th time out this year the magic happened. The Murphy that emerged from the car that day was one I had never seen. He was magnificent, filled with a confidence and style beyond what I dreamed he posessed. His preformance that day far beyond anything I could have hoped for. The old Murphy was gone and has yet to return. And my little Greta. Slowly she is learning control. It seems much of her problem was age, now as she matures setteling down she is a delight to be with. Hunting hard and efficently with a style all her own. An interesting note. The people that looked at Greta before me were right she is not a pure bred German Wirehaired Pointer. Curiosity got the best of me and I ordered a DNA kit from a company on line, in an attempt to unlock the mystery of just what she was. My little girl turned out to be a Wirehaired Pointing Griffon a breed I had never even heard of untill this fall. After seeing the results and reading up on the breed. The discription fit her to a tee from hunting style, to pyhsical charateristic, to personality she is Griff. through and through. The journey with my rescue dogs so far has been long and interesting and is far from over cause all of us have much yet to learn. Each it seemed has come with special challenges but also with special rewards. But at the end of a day in the feild I always smile cause I have gotten to spend a few hours with two of my best friends doing what the three of us love most.

[RoostersMom]

Russ,

If you email me the article, I can help with editing a little bit.

Elsa

[Nhuskr]

Russ,

How brutal do you want us to be? I should have been an English teacher; I'm a stickler when it comes to spelling, punctuation, paragraphs!!, etc.

It's a fine start to an article, I can hear your passion for rescue dogs coming through. However, I was a little lost as to what point you are trying to make exactly. i.e.- the rewards of rescuing a dog, teaching a rescue dog to hunt, or the costs (financial and emotional) of rescuing and teaching a dog to hunt.

Remember - "Tell them what you are going to tell them, tell them, then tell them what you told them." Making an outline will help you to clarify your thoughts and decide what is important to include and what can be left out. Especially if you have a page or word limit for the article. I'll be glad to help you edit when you get close to the final copy if you'd like.

Cheryl

[Cajun Casey]

It's "sat," not "set."
You have a good story to tell, but your narrative is a chore to read. There are certain questions that I have that it doesn't answer. I'd like to see the next draft, in paragraph form, before digging up my red pencil.

Like I said, it is a good story and I commend you for telling it and for sticking with the dog.

[r nickell]

It is a rough draft and like most of my stuff I leave the editor's lots of work LOL. I wanted to see if I was getting lost in it sometimes if you are to close it is easy to do. From some of the feedback I can see I did and need to address that issue. I find it much easier to write about history not as close as personal this project has been a challenge since the subjects are laying on the floor next to me most the time.

[Cajun Casey]

Actually, the most interesting parts of the story revolve around a little French dog with a German name. With Murphy, you tried to be socially responsible and save some money, but ended up paying to solve his problems. Despite that, you supported the idea of rescue and took a second chance. I can imagine a mad scramble to find out just what a WPG was when you got the DNA results. That happened to a friend who adopted an abandoned "Lab" that seemed odd and turned out to be mostly Great Pyrenees.