wow, that was awful.....

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dog dr
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wow, that was awful.....

Post by dog dr » Thu May 13, 2010 10:46 am

i have the unfortunate job sometimes of telling people their favorite pet has a terminal illness, and that even with the most heroic efforts, 6-8 months is the best we can hope for. at first it was pretty tough, as i wasnt good at dealing with peoples emotions. over the years, it has become much easier, and their responses dont bother me much, even though i still sympathize with them, and i do know how they feel. sometimes its even a relief to find out that there isnt anything i can do, as i really get frustrated when everything i try doesnt seem to help.

BUT, i just had to tell my favorite client that her old golden retriever has bone cancer, and that no matter what we do, its not gonna get better. i have steadily watched this dog get worse over the last couple weeks. we knew he had osteo-arthritis in his hips, so various pain meds were used as well as joint supplements. another x-ray today confirmed what i was beginning to suspect.

i took the client into the exam room, turned on the x-ray veiwer, put my arm around her and showed her the lesions. i didnt even have to explain what it was, she knew. she buried her head in my chest and sobbed. then i started crying.

i have never cried over a clients dog before, and probably never will again. but when the person who just had their heart broken is your wife, it sure hits you pretty hard. boy, its gonna be a tough weekend.

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windswept
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Re: wow, that was awful.....

Post by windswept » Thu May 13, 2010 10:52 am

So sorry.

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Re: wow, that was awful.....

Post by Munster » Thu May 13, 2010 10:56 am

Boy, that is tough! :cry: I feel for you and your wife. I think that is the curse with these wonderful four legged creatures, we just dontget to enjoy them for all that long. Hang in there, I am sure it will get better.
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Re: wow, that was awful.....

Post by NC Quailhunter » Thu May 13, 2010 11:03 am

Man that really bites. I am sorry to hear about the health of your pup. My thoughts and and prayers are with you and your family during this trying time.
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Re: wow, that was awful.....

Post by Greg Jennings » Thu May 13, 2010 11:24 am

Man, that blows. I'm soooo sorry.

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Re: wow, that was awful.....

Post by lvrgsp » Thu May 13, 2010 11:41 am

Man that's a tough one Doc, sure hate to hear that.

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Re: wow, that was awful.....

Post by wems2371 » Thu May 13, 2010 11:50 am

Sorry your family is going through this...

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Re: wow, that was awful.....

Post by snips » Thu May 13, 2010 12:01 pm

So sorry..Very sad...My vet had shed a few over my old ones too. A vet I had years ago when I lived out on the horse farm did something I will never forget...I knew my old girl was going, so I planned ahead and was working on a hole for days..When it was all done he stopped by and we took her out to the hole and he put her to sleep...I was balling so hard he told me to go to the house and he buried her for me... :cry:
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Re: wow, that was awful.....

Post by postoakshorthairs » Thu May 13, 2010 12:05 pm

I'm sorry to hear that. I can relate completely. I'm in the human healthcare business not the animals, but there is little difference in the emotions. Over the years I too have become desensitzed to the emotions of it...being one of your own sure reminds you of what others have felt. I joke with my wife all the time that she would handle me being sick better than her jack russell or golden retriever. Best Wishes.

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dog dr
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Re: wow, that was awful.....

Post by dog dr » Thu May 13, 2010 1:18 pm

thanks. i have pretty much comes to grips with losing the old dog, as i have known for years that cancer is what would get him. being a golden retriever that is well cared for, and wouldnt go in the street if you wanted him to, i knew he would live long enough for it. but its alot harder to watch my wife deal with it. i went home after lunch and she was just sitting in the floor with him, still crying. he has been with us just almost as long as we have been together.

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Re: wow, that was awful.....

Post by kninebirddog » Thu May 13, 2010 1:46 pm

You Sir are extremely Compassionate...
You do so much for people and God Bless you for being the Man and Dr you are

Big hug to you ....Wish there was something that could make those days easier.... :cry:
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Re: wow, that was awful.....

Post by ezzy333 » Thu May 13, 2010 2:22 pm

Doc,

I always find it harder to comfort someone else than it is to handle my own grief. It sounds so lame but try to think how lucky you all were to have your Golden for as long as you did and remember all of the good times that you shared. And now he is going to his place where there will be no pain and he will have happy times forever.

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Re: wow, that was awful.....

Post by daniel77 » Thu May 13, 2010 4:05 pm

Very sorry to hear of you and your wife's grief. I'm right now shedding a few tears as I look up at the nicely framed portrait of my old kelpie "Pierre". He was darn special to me and I was useless for several days after he passed on.

I know nothing will help in the near term, but having that picture with his collar is awful nice to look at and remember him for a bit... Maybe something similar would help your wife overcome her grief?
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Re: wow, that was awful.....

Post by BigShooter » Thu May 13, 2010 5:16 pm

dog dr has just given us a glimpse of what it is like for physicians when they lose a loved one this way. To have researched everything within your grasp, to ensure every reasonably possible treatment option has been exhausted, to know there is nothing more you or anyone else can do, these things can be accepted by the head but can't prevent the ache of the heart.

dog dr, my thoughts are with you and your wife as you are forced to watch your buddy cross over the last bridge.
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Re: wow, that was awful.....

Post by tn red » Thu May 13, 2010 5:31 pm

May everyone involved find comfort .Thats a hard one to take

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Re: wow, that was awful.....

Post by jlp8cornell » Thu May 13, 2010 6:21 pm

So sorry to hear that. I cannot imagine having to tell people theri dogs have terminal illnesses, let alone a spouse. Hugs for you and her....

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Re: wow, that was awful.....

Post by birddogger » Thu May 13, 2010 7:05 pm

So sorry doc. I wish the best for you and your family. I am not good at expressing my feelings, but my heart goes out to you and your wife. A new puppy may help her cope, when the time is appropriate.

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Re: wow, that was awful.....

Post by Fireside » Thu May 13, 2010 7:15 pm

So sorry to hear about your boy... take good care of your wife.

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Re: wow, that was awful.....

Post by asc » Thu May 13, 2010 8:31 pm

Buried my wife's BOY last Aug. after 14 years in our family. Our vet is also a close friend and was able to help us on a sunday morn. Ya'll got a tough job. I'm sorry...
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Re: wow, that was awful.....

Post by ckirsch » Thu May 13, 2010 9:34 pm

So sorry for your bad fortune.

Your story reminds me of the time I took my five-year-old son along to put down our ancient Doberman. Everybody was doing fine, the vet administered the shot, and as the dog began to sink to the floor, my son touched his head and said "Goodbye, Gunther. Thanks for being my friend." I lost it, the vet's assistant was sobbing, and even the vet was crying.

We sign up for this every time we bring a new pup home. Part of the dog experience we prefer not to think about very often.

Hang in there....

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Re: wow, that was awful.....

Post by dog dr » Thu May 13, 2010 10:00 pm

thanks guys, you all are a kind bunch of people. just came in fom burying him in the yard. was a long evening, sitting with him and my wfe on the coch, trying to get up the courage to end it. i thought i was a pretty practical, tough guy, but i cried like a baby. i am still amazed at how hard it was. hopeflly this exeriece will make me more compassionate for my clients.

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Re: wow, that was awful.....

Post by BigShooter » Thu May 13, 2010 10:43 pm

Doc,

You've got courage. I would've been tempted to ask a practice partner to take care of it for me. The real compassion any owner can demonstrate is to make a decision not to prolong life when the quality is gone & debilitation & suffering is evident. Your solace resides in knowing you cared enough to do the right thing when the time came.

It is truly amazing how attached we can become to an animal.
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Re: wow, that was awful.....

Post by kumate » Thu May 13, 2010 10:53 pm

So Sorry Thoughts and prayers your way Doc.

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Re: wow, that was awful.....

Post by SubMariner » Fri May 14, 2010 7:27 am

My heart goes out to you & your wife.

People sometimes forget that healthcare professionals are human too.

May you all find peace & solace.
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Re: wow, that was awful.....

Post by phermes1 » Fri May 14, 2010 7:47 am

Our thoughts are with you.
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Re: wow, that was awful.....

Post by Bird Dog 67 » Fri May 14, 2010 8:24 am

Doc, our paths cross again and now it is my honor to wish you and your family well and to hope that somewhere down the road you find comfort in the memories that you and your family have of your special friend.

All my best to you and your family.

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Re: wow, that was awful.....

Post by Wagonmaster » Fri May 14, 2010 8:47 am

After a lifetime of dogs, I have had to put down my share - old age, car accident, injury, cancer - it is always a tough decision. You do think you get used to it, and then one comes along that just touches you. And you find yourself crying like a baby, like the first time. So I have been there Doc, I share your heartache. If we would stop loving the dang things so much, and they us, we wouldn't have to go through that, would we.

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Re: wow, that was awful.....

Post by Elroy's Bandit » Fri May 14, 2010 10:45 am

Doc,
Sorry to hear about your impending loss. As we might never have met in person, you have always been a great friend to all of us here on GDF, quick to jump in with help on various topics and assistance with our beloved canines. Wish there was something I could say or do to help, but we are here for man!!
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Re: wow, that was awful.....

Post by briguyz71 » Fri May 14, 2010 9:23 pm

Doc,
Very sorry to hear about your loss. Had to bury one of mine to cancer a few years ago and still think about him all the time. Prayers sent for you and your wife.
Brian

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Re: wow, that was awful.....

Post by CherrystoneWeims » Sat May 15, 2010 1:53 pm

Doc, I'm so sorry to hear of you and your wife's loss. It never gets any easier.

I lost one (actually a pup that I had sold to someone) two days before Christmas. She was just turning 5 yrs. and had liver cancer with mets. I met the owners at the emergency clinic when she was taken in. I thought she was bloating. The vet took xrays and thought she had a ruptured spleen. When I saw the x-rays I had a VERY bad feeling about what I was looking at. The surgeon opened her up the next day and basically did a peek and shreek. She was euthanized on the table. I cried along with the owners. It was a terrible Christmas for us all.

My almost 10 yr. old is starting to have some poly-cystic kidney disease and I sit with him every night and whisper in his ear "Please don't leave me. I need you for a few more years."

Brenda, years ago I had a yellow Lab who lived to be 14.5 yrs. I knew when it was time and I planned ahead. I started to dig the hole but the tears got in the way. I got a pretty good size hole dug but not quite big enough for her. I decided to have her cremated instead so I could take her with me when I moved. I'm glad I did......
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Re: wow, that was awful.....

Post by M1Tanker » Mon May 17, 2010 8:22 pm

Doc...I feel for you and your family. What you did took amazing courage and given the same situation, I am not sure I could have done what you did.

Sorry to hear about your loss.

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